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fallingstar






"I want to talk to yall about Gracie, who lives in a kingdom of free lollies and porn. She is a magical cookie elf! Mine to be exact.

(Theres a heavy chance I might get sidetracked and start talking about Famous Amos or the weather, so be informed.)

Now, I might suffer from psychological and mental issues, but heck it dont matter because Gracie isn't exactly all about rationality and normal anyway. That may come as an insult to most of you, but if it does, then what the fuck are ya doin' here?We're hot young people in last year's clothes and freshly crazed minds. It doesn't matter if we're rude and stupid; didn't I say we're hot and young?

Anyway, I don't even know her full name, or else I forgot which is mean (don't forget your friend's full name kids), but I know very well that she is fucking awesome. More awesome than Saturday cartoons, more awesome than sundaes on a hot summer's day, more awesome than a public toilet when you have to piss so badly, and certainly, more awesome than myself, who is pretty damn awesome to be honest.

She is my other half. The kind of friend that you don't have to call every single day or meet 7 days a week, 12 months in a year but still have that bad ass bond that makes other people glare and admire. We discuss complicated plots to kidnap Pete and put him in our basement. Sometimes, when we are really in a good mood, we make up characters we wish we are, and babble away with childish imagination. We talk about deep stuffs too; we're smart, really, just in the wrong and sick way.

We share things I can't believe I could even think of sharing. We annoy ceaselessly, we promise carelessly, we wait patiently, we tease and torment, we ponder deeply, we fight with venom, we cry shamelessly and we love. And when we can't breathe, or the world seems to manipulate even more and close in on us, we sigh and we sit, in each other's presence.

She'd pat me on my back, and tell me everything is going to be alright even if the situation is completely hopeless and fucked. She'd put a smile on my sad, unjustified face, and sometimes leave my mouth wide open, just by being Gracie. She's explicit, and dangerous. She'd say 'Fuck your skinny asses' and say 'ILY' in a matter of seconds. She's wildly complicated. Freaky and alien, at times. Too emotional, or too icy. Sad, desperate and in love. And sometimes, in those rare moments, she's this happy little girl in pigtails with a giant ice cream in hand.

Maybe it's ridiculous to be so attached to someone over the internet; because we all know the internet can be a nest of terror, but whenever I allow myself to think about it, I find myself not caring at all. I'm here, she's here, we're rockin' and smokin', and we love each other. So, what's the problem?

We're friends, and if you knew exactly how we are together, you'd be so jealous.

And if youre one of those witty ass people who snort in contempt, and go They're psychopaths with too much time in their hands., well, guess what punk?

You suck.

(ooh, veeery snappy Ray.)

We have something, me and Gracie, and youd be lying through your teeth if you try to deny it. This unlogical and wondrous thing I call our friendship is so gigantic and powerful, itd blow Hiroshima and Nagasaki off hands down and still have enough ammos to smack you across the face. And Im not even sure why I instigate to convince you all so much anyways.

Haha. I think we're fucking alright, me and Gracie."

And I love you to death, Ravy.

blahblah
exits
.I?. x. x. x. x. x. x. And some other deepshits..

credits
designer : kathleen
image : hiddenmemoryx
lyrics : It Ends Tonight/ AAR

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

memories
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
November 2007
December 2007
February 2008

Starless eyes for heaven's sake.
Monday, June 4, 2007
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: This Is The Best Day Ever - My Chemical Romance

"One day, this day.
Set this ferris wheel ablaze.
You left, my heart, an open wound."


It's been quite a while since I've updated. Err. I've been trying to think of things over, if certain decisions are to be made and whethereI'll regret it or not, it's still a DAMAGE.

To me, to my mentality, to my trust issues, to everything. I've been asking myself "What did I do?" but then again, a side of me is in 'Ray-mode' and telling myself "I deserve to be happy." Maybe I do, but right now, I just don't fucking know.

I cut off every connection I got in mind with her. Yahoo Messanger, Friendster, Myspace, I deleted her in every account so I could finally scratch her out of my "Things To Give A Rat Ass About" list. I shouldn't be worried because as of what I know, I didn't do anything wrong.

Nothing's really change in my state of mind towards her since my last blog update, the only difference is now, I'm not open to any explanations. You had the time you need, now screw you.

But, fuck that. I have loads of things to talk about.

Last Thursday (May 30) , we fetched my grandmom in the airport. It was like it was before, only that I have this weird, old guy hitting on me on the waiting area and my relatives looking at me like I'm some kind of a sinner. Maybe it was the piercing, or the necktie. Whatever, all I know is they're giving me too much attention and I'm liking it.

So...we got my grandmom, took her to the van and went home. She kept on talking about the flight and whatnot, while ranting at me on why I pierced my lip. She said that she was proud enough that I have a pimple-free face and she doesn't want to see holes in it. I just shrugged, as if I could do anything more.

Then the following days, It wasn't really hell, nor heaven, it's just...pretty normal. Only that my sister's bullying me wayy too often now, and all I could hear is grandmom comparing Canada to Philippines. Which makes me more frustrated on the fact that I can't live with them until now. It sucks but due to certain circumstances, I'm gonna have to endure more miserable years stuck in here.

It sucks, or maybe it's wrong to feel like this but I feel like I'm being teased but not getting any. More like, having foreplay but not getting fucked. Now, imagine that. It's all I ever wanted but I can't get it, because people around me screwed up. And now I am affected. Boo hoo.

I should stop now, because I might say more stupid things, okay?

And on the other note, Ray should get her pierced ass online because I miss her too darn much.



^ Edited by Me.

My mind's unweaving/ 5:46 AM