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fallingstar






"I want to talk to yall about Gracie, who lives in a kingdom of free lollies and porn. She is a magical cookie elf! Mine to be exact.

(Theres a heavy chance I might get sidetracked and start talking about Famous Amos or the weather, so be informed.)

Now, I might suffer from psychological and mental issues, but heck it dont matter because Gracie isn't exactly all about rationality and normal anyway. That may come as an insult to most of you, but if it does, then what the fuck are ya doin' here?We're hot young people in last year's clothes and freshly crazed minds. It doesn't matter if we're rude and stupid; didn't I say we're hot and young?

Anyway, I don't even know her full name, or else I forgot which is mean (don't forget your friend's full name kids), but I know very well that she is fucking awesome. More awesome than Saturday cartoons, more awesome than sundaes on a hot summer's day, more awesome than a public toilet when you have to piss so badly, and certainly, more awesome than myself, who is pretty damn awesome to be honest.

She is my other half. The kind of friend that you don't have to call every single day or meet 7 days a week, 12 months in a year but still have that bad ass bond that makes other people glare and admire. We discuss complicated plots to kidnap Pete and put him in our basement. Sometimes, when we are really in a good mood, we make up characters we wish we are, and babble away with childish imagination. We talk about deep stuffs too; we're smart, really, just in the wrong and sick way.

We share things I can't believe I could even think of sharing. We annoy ceaselessly, we promise carelessly, we wait patiently, we tease and torment, we ponder deeply, we fight with venom, we cry shamelessly and we love. And when we can't breathe, or the world seems to manipulate even more and close in on us, we sigh and we sit, in each other's presence.

She'd pat me on my back, and tell me everything is going to be alright even if the situation is completely hopeless and fucked. She'd put a smile on my sad, unjustified face, and sometimes leave my mouth wide open, just by being Gracie. She's explicit, and dangerous. She'd say 'Fuck your skinny asses' and say 'ILY' in a matter of seconds. She's wildly complicated. Freaky and alien, at times. Too emotional, or too icy. Sad, desperate and in love. And sometimes, in those rare moments, she's this happy little girl in pigtails with a giant ice cream in hand.

Maybe it's ridiculous to be so attached to someone over the internet; because we all know the internet can be a nest of terror, but whenever I allow myself to think about it, I find myself not caring at all. I'm here, she's here, we're rockin' and smokin', and we love each other. So, what's the problem?

We're friends, and if you knew exactly how we are together, you'd be so jealous.

And if youre one of those witty ass people who snort in contempt, and go They're psychopaths with too much time in their hands., well, guess what punk?

You suck.

(ooh, veeery snappy Ray.)

We have something, me and Gracie, and youd be lying through your teeth if you try to deny it. This unlogical and wondrous thing I call our friendship is so gigantic and powerful, itd blow Hiroshima and Nagasaki off hands down and still have enough ammos to smack you across the face. And Im not even sure why I instigate to convince you all so much anyways.

Haha. I think we're fucking alright, me and Gracie."

And I love you to death, Ravy.

blahblah
exits
.I?. x. x. x. x. x. x. And some other deepshits..

credits
designer : kathleen
image : hiddenmemoryx
lyrics : It Ends Tonight/ AAR

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

memories
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
November 2007
December 2007
February 2008

We dont fight fair.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: So Much - The Spill Canvas


How much are you worth?
HumanForSale.com - I am for sale!


Indeed, I am worth this much. *winks*

2 days until FOB tour. Yay! Too bad I just got a bad news, not really a bad one. Just like what Ray said I can come in early and burn her motherfucking seat down but blah, she ain't worth the time nor shit to be bothered.

Okay, that's a lie. I am indeed bothered. I get over things as quick as a blink of an eye but questions would sometimes randomly poke me in the head until I'd start being all depressed and going around in circles again. It's insane, it's still sort of bugging me, but I'm not really requiring myself to care, do I? Not now, now that she ruined everything, and she took away every bit of respect I had for her.

I'd sometimes stop and think about the things the way they were before and I could have told myself, I could have lived like that. I was happy, she was a good friend. I loved her.

Loved, how past tense puts up lot of meaning these days.

But hey, FOB concert night! In 2 days! YAYAYAYAY! Just like I told Ray, it cant be ruined by some wannabee who's been bringing all sexy back before she even knew me. *sighsighsigh*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Do you know what happens to people who stays in the middle of he road? They get run over.

I say that alot, but do it more often. I can put down my pride and dignity just to mend something that's been destroyed over stupid reasons, still thinking that being in the middle of two bumping stones was a foolish choice. Seeing friendships that was once so perfect deteriorate right before my eyes was too much to take. Too hard to watch. But I can't bring myself to be in the middle of it again because I, myself, has atleast something to say.

I'm a selfish, mean, angsty, arrogant, proud, self-centered prick. I admit that, but when it comes to my friends every bit of these negative attitude in me dissolves to nothing but hope for them to stay, for us to last longer. For us to just...be happy. Simple wishes they were.

Perhaps they were right, I was too naive of everything. I think of things as if they're easy to get by, with high hopes inside my heart, even though it has been continously failing me. They were right, I'm this young, dumb, dillusional kid who's obviously in denial of the things around her. Yes, I've been denying things to myself when I thought you were happy with us.

And I don't even know why I'm writing this thing. I've been sitting here for 2 hours, thinking of somewhat a better way to put it all. This might be it, though I know it lacks something. Maybe the usual curses, or the hates, or the childish babbles and all that. But do you know what this update have?

Doubt. And disappointment.

I'm so fucking disappointed and it's breaking my heart.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And last but not the least; I found something cute for Ray;




Heeee. <333

My mind's unweaving/ 4:42 AM